Love Me Anyway

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever.
-Psalm 136:1


You love me through my faults. Through my failures. And when I am never enough, You are more. I seek answers in empty corners, in vases of vanity with the bottoms cut out so the water of my shame rushes relentlessly to the floor. I attempt to fix my mistakes, carving deeper into the canyons of self-reliance but creating no lasting image. I falter in my doubts, in acknowledging that this time, this time I must have gone too far. That I am unable to be saved.

Then You reach for me with a hand of hope. An embrace that offers me warmth coursing through me and an absolution for all I have turned to ash. I am saved by grace. Your sweet, unending grace.

Do I deserve unlimited forgiveness? Absolutely not. Do I get it, over and over and over again? Amazingly, yes! To think that a perfect and holy God of creation could look at me, a meager, imperfect sinner as I stumble a hundred and two times and still love me, still pardon my inadequacies- well, it’s quite breathtaking, actually.

These lyrics from the song “You Love Me Anyway” by Sidewalk Prophets hit my heart with their portrayal of the ultimate admission to my sinful and selfish soul:

I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway
See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life…
But You love me anyway.

We are the spear in His side and the tear in His eye. But He loves us anyway. Amen for that!


Prayer:
Father, I fail you again and again, wallowing in my self-pity and set on my own desires. I hurt You, I forget You, I push You to the back of my mind. Yet there You stand, loving me and saving me from myself. Thank You. For still loving me in my foolish pride, for wanting me to love You back. It will never be repaid. Amen.

I Vow

As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.
-Isaiah 62:5


I vow…
To dance with you in the rain.
To wake with you each morning and watch you sleep each night.
To guard your heart and armor it with My own.
To cherish you, completely.
To never cause your diamond eyes to lose their sparkle.
To see your peculiarities and find them fascinating.
To make you laugh and never cry. But if tears should shed on account of someone else, I promise to take each teardrop and toss them high into the sky, where they can dissipate into the atmosphere.

I vow…
To shower you with song.
To hold your heart up when it wants to collapse.
To let you know how beautiful you are, especially when you don’t believe this truth.
To tell you it will be alright, because, in the end, it will.
To be aware of all the things that make you smile, like tulips and the smell of coffee, and place them in your path to make an ordinary day special.
To paint the night in cosmic patterns at your request.
To lay down My life for you.

I vow…
To never rest until you are nestled securely in My arms.


Prayer:
Thank You for Your all consuming love. Thank You that you love me deeply and intimately, as no other has loved me before. I want to accept this love, believe it and soak it sweetly in my heart. Let me love you back wholeheartedly. Amen.

Hand Made

Your hands shaped me and made me. –Job 10:8


Before your lungs exhaled their first peals of life, I was here. Before you were even a joyous welcome announcement to your family, I knew you would be around. I created you with just the right colors in your soft hair, the curve of your smile, the dance in your eyes. I never intended for the creases in your brow, the downcast shading of your eyelids, the slump in your posture.

Darling, I created you in My image. And I saw that it was good. My hands reached into your heart and cradled your soul. I massaged the chambers into life, to pump a lifesong throughout your body. To move your feet to find the doorstep of a friend in need. To mold your hands and entwine them through the fingers of another, to breathe My air into their veins. My Dear, you are divinely created. Divinely set apart to stand straight and brim with My beauty. When the earth formed by My voice, I had your face already plastered in My mind. I made this world knowing one day I would bring you into it. To watch you smile at a stranger and to dream with delicate hope. It pains Me when you don’t see your value.

My Beautiful One, I love you. With a consuming fire. Feel it. Feel the flames lick your skin, sear your soul. With an avalanche of affection coursing through you. Don’t try to outrun this landslide. Let it overtake you, let My words bury you in truth, let My gaze course over you like rainfall in the dry season. Fix your eyes on Me. Fix your worth on who you are in My presence. Because, Beloved, I am captivated with my creation. I am captivated by YOU.


Prayer:
Creator, I cannot begin to understand the depths of Your love for me. But as deep as I love my family and my friends, You love me a thousand times more. Help me to realize this, Lord. Help me realize that You are relentless in Your pursuit of my affection. Please let Your love crash over me. Amen.